Here is a piece of trivia that never stops paying off: a group of crows is called a murder. So what do you call just two or three crows, standing around, clearly plotting something? Attempted murder, obviously. We have been sitting on that joke for years, quietly delighted every time it lands, and eventually we had to put it on a shirt before someone else did.
The best kind of wordplay is the kind you already half-knew
Great bird humour rewards the people who already find crows fascinating, and there are more of us than you would think. Corvids are genuinely, unsettlingly smart. They recognise faces. They hold grudges. They use tools, solve puzzles, and reportedly bring little gifts to humans who feed them. Watch a few crows conspiring on a fence line and “attempted murder” stops being a pun and starts feeling like an accurate incident report.
That is why we drew the birds with a bit of attitude rather than making them cute. These crows look like they know something. They look like they are mid-scheme. Our favourite thing about the design is that it works on two levels: it is a clean, satisfying joke for anyone who reads it, and it is a genuine wink for the bird nerds who already knew the collective noun and have been waiting their whole lives for someone to make this exact shirt.
Who this one belongs to
This is for the corvid obsessive, the person with a favourite neighbourhood crow they have secretly named. It is for the naturalist, the birder, the “well, actually” friend who collects animal facts and deploys them at dinner. It is for the goth-adjacent soul who likes their nature with a shadow over it, and for the camper or hiker who would genuinely rather share a trail with crows than with most people.
It also makes a sharp gift, because it flatters the recipient’s intelligence. Handing someone this shirt says “I know you are the kind of person who finds this clever”, and smart people love being seen as smart. It is dark without being grim, nerdy without being obscure, and just spooky enough to feel right the closer we get to autumn.
We kept the art bold and a little moody so the birds carry the tone, and the wordplay does the rest. It reads clearly from across a room, which matters for a joke shirt: you want the double take, the pause, and then the grin when the collective-noun logic clicks into place. On a plain tee it sits like a proper statement piece rather than a throwaway gag.
The practical part, briefly: it is a soft standard-fit unisex tee, printed on demand and shipped by Amazon with fast delivery and easy returns, and it runs true to US sizing. Take your usual size, or size up if you like a roomier, layer-friendly fit for cooler crow-watching weather.
What keeps us fond of this design is how confidently niche it is. It does not chase everyone. It speaks directly to the people who light up at a good animal fact and a darker sense of humour, and those people are worth designing for. If that is you, or the sharp-witted bird fan in your life, take a proper look at the “Attempted Murder” conspiracy crows shirt. And for more shirts built around the things people are quietly obsessed with, our hobbies collection is the place to wander next. The crows will be watching.
